A pantser's take on plotting

        Being the usual 'figure out the story as I go' type I never clicked with any plot methods. I tried basic structures, some messy planning I came up with, and the Three act one I didn't even bother with. For the three years, I've been writing (four years anniversary this December) I have given plotting only so many chances. To be honest it probably failed because I didn't try it for real.

        I tried plotting because every blog post I ever read said "Only start writing the story when you have the plot figured out". It was until late in my writing experience that the inclusive inspirational posts for pantsers started to pop out.

        This affected the young me. I can assure you the exact moment writing stopped being so easy was when I started reading writerly articles.

        Now I am not giving another chance to plotting because of a writer I adore or I just decided I will try it. The two reasons are my obsession with Supernatural and the Paranormal Activity movies. This shit connected as fuck!

        So after I decided to try plotting I didn't turn to articles this time. Instead around this same time, writerthreats on Instagram had started to do online courses. So I signed up, they reached out, we had a little chat, and now I am writing this blog post.

        What we talked about and what ideas I had after the talk is for another post.

        One of the things we went over was writing a summary of your chapter to avoid plot holes. I do the same shit but before writing the chapter. It is an easier start into the writing session and the three of us agreed on it.

        So I started thinking why is that?

        The longer you hold something in, a thought, an emotion, the heavier it gets. And so the longer you have this idea in your mind the harder it gets. Writing two-three sentences of what should happen in this chapter gets the thought out and before your eyes. So now you're no longer just thinking of it. It's out in the open, you see it and now you can start working on it with ease.

        Following this same chain of thoughts, writing never gets overwhelming. Our heads just get full of ideas. The craft stays the same, what changes are the number of tools you have on your belt. And you have no idea which one to use first.

        I don't know what to think of first and that annoys me. Because there are a ton of things that should happen before the end, I know where I should stop but I also want to include a few sub conflicts to make them blend with the third book smoother, but I also should be writing because otherwise, I will never finish this second book, but wasn't knowing the end supposed to make it easier?

        Are you understanding what I'm trying to say? Is it overwhelming? It should be.

        This kind of thinking is what I feel like is my main problem when it comes to the keyboard and writing in words in that empty document. It all stacks on me and by the time I start writing it's already too much. So I pull away from the laptop, minimize the window and play yet another horror movie, get scared, and release all that stress I've been holding in.

        And then I get no writing done, I beat myself up, and feel like shit for both not writing and beating myself up.

        This is not healthy. And it wasn't until Mel Robbins posted this video about how her morning routine failed that I started to take it easy on myself. This happened right before I took a week off social media. Sort of.

        Let me tell you something. This week off I wrote almost every day. It wasn't easy but it also wasn't as bad as it ones was. I used to really not want to write. I would get sick thinking about turning on the laptop. Lately, it's still hard to start and even continue writing but now I want to keep doing it. Not because I have a word count to fulfill or a goal to accomplish. I have a story I kinda want to write and show to people.

        I've settled for this plotting idea. It won't be anything extremely detailed or complicated. Just something simple for a person who won't stick to her own rules and probably change her mind a hundred times. A.K.A. me and Brian.

        Anyways, thanks for stopping by. Until next time hammer-on and jam along!

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I accidentaly cut a toxic person out of my life

     Here's the backstory.

     I am posting my story in Bulgarian on Wattpad (currently not). I had written ahead and asked if people would be interested to read and not wait. Except my best friend two dudes wanted to join so I made a group. Every Sunday I'd send them everything I've written for the past week.

     Now what happened to make one of the guys leave had nothing to do with my work.

     The kid is easily annoyed, has close to no chill unless you catch him in mood. And he's never in good mood.

     You know messanger added a new feature. More of the love themed emojies would float and I was gushing over it in the chat. He started to type in repetedly "Stop" and of course I wouldn't stop, this is the cutest thing I've seen in a while.

     He threatened to leave the group. Just after that the other boy whined because his emojies wouldn't float. So I made a screan record in the chat to show him. Meanwhile whiny dude probably thought he is the shit around town and made a scene of leaving the chat.

     Believe me when I tell you I physicly laughed at my screen. Huge weight fell of my chest and now this chat is one of my favourite places.

     I didn't contact the guy who left and I will not. Even if he wants to get back in the group I am not adding him again. It's now a sacred place I do not want to ruin.

     My whole point with this post is to not repeat to you "Cut toxic people from your life". I'm sure you understand why this is important but it doesn't connect with you on a deep level.

     I didn't feel the meaning of this until after I was no longer in contact with this dude. I've thought of this before and I will say it.

     The best advice in the world will mean nothing to you until you experience it yourself.

     So don't just read advice. Try to see why it is adviced.

     I did it by incident and now I have a safe space for myself.

     Till next time Hammer-on and jam along!

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Rotten mind

    Furious screams echoed from the first floor. It was calm just a second ago. What changed? Ah, yes. The older sister got home. Poor girl, she never got her rest. Never kept quiet like her younger copy. It's not fair that she gets away just because she never speaks up. And when she does never continues the arguments.

    But she doesn't have it easy as well. She wants to be strong and independent, to protect herself. When the time comes she just looks at the ground, focuses on her own breathing, and isolates herself in a space where she should be safe. She never is. Her family's negativity stacks along with her helplessness, it rots her insides, spoils her head, and makes her cry for no reason.

    A trait or a flaw?

    When both negative and positive get compared it always turns out to be a flaw. And the young girl knows that. It's more than clear for her that this state she is stuck in is not healthy. Still, there never is enough strength, power, and confidence to break out of this cycle.

    And so she continues listening to the argument from the floor below. It gets heated. You could easily recognize tears in her mother's voice.

    Of course, she thinks it's her fault. Who's else would it be? Her sister was traveling today because of her, she got frustrated because it's her day off. And so, she was a little spiky on the phone when their mother called. If they had stayed home if the younger sibling had gone on her own. But, no. She couldn't travel alone. Her insecurity and anxiety are too strong. She had to be held by the hand her whole life.

    Some times she considers that she isn't the only one to blame. That she didn't raise herself there might be other reasons for the ways she is. Then she remembers it's all her own choices. She chose her life to this point. She has to choose better if she wants things to be better.

    Her head may rot down but at least her family will get this little bit happier... right?

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What I want to change

     Recently I've been feeling oppressed. Not only from what's going on in the world. Huge part is just my personal life. The world's crazyness just puts more weight on.

     I no longer love Twitter like I used to, don't even want to open Instagram anymore. Facebook I don't care about at all.

     To make things a little lighter for me I put to practice the mentality of "Don't open it if you're not going to creat" basicly don't log in social media if I'm not going to put some kind of content there.

     I want to get back my safe space and create more productive habbit for myself.

     I will be uploading weekly here, and on Wattpad. The book's "Take my soul back" basicly a summer of my week. What I've been up to, some hilights of what I've accomplished. Whether it's writing related or not.

I don't really have much more to say so see ya on Sunday. Till next time Hammer-on and jam along.

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How I started hating tomatos

     It started a couple of years ago. I don't know what happened, what influenced me at the time but one day I just didn't feel like eating tomatos. The other day as well, and so on. At some point I just decided that I hate them and that was it.

     It had been months since I started hating tomatos and the doubt came along side my family's "You ate tomatos just yesterday!". No aunty, I ate tomatos just six months ago!

     It just so happened that all my doubts were erased that same night.

     I was doing something on my phone and my sister gave me a cucember to eat. But there was this little piece of tomato on the fork as well. I didn't see it.

     The moment I ate it I made a face that I could only guess was the most ridiculous one I can pull off. My sister started laughing and saying "I'm sorry" and I could only wonder "What did I just eat?!"

     I was sure I hate tomatos after that night.

     This is how I started hating tomatos and all I have for this post. Untill next time hammer-on and Jam along!

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If you feel presured by the community this will help!

          I really want to talk about this cause I don't think it's been said enough.

We all go around and read blog posts when we wanna kill some time and feel productive. We read tips, we flap through some more posts and we find ourselves reading the same tips. It's ok, some tips repeat because they work and are helpful.

        But!

        It's not always the case.

        I am not a plotter and I'm sure people like me will relate when I say that either annoys you or depresses you when you read this: "You have to have your book planned before writing it!".

        You shouldn't follow this advice to do your writing right! I'll even format it as a quote just to be more clear.

You shouldn't follow advices to do your writing right!

          It is an advice for a reason. Advice or tip it doesn't matter, you can either follow it or go about your day without it. Those are the two paths! And because I am me I am experimenting and finding another way. Don't do that if you get frustrated easily.

        I can joke around all day but this won't change my point. Your way is valid no matter what it is. If it works for you it's right. Everything else is someone else's experience. Have your experience with an advice and if it doesn't work for you it's ok.

        A lot of people talk like their way its the only truth under the sun and for them it is. They go on to talk about why it works and you're just like "Yeah, sounds about right". And then when it doesn't work for you you think you did it all wrong.

        You didn't. This way is just not for you. Find your way and tell people about it. Skip everything that doesn't sound right for you.

        A bit short this Monday but I really wanted to share this because I need to hear it myself. Telling it to others is just easier.

          So this is all from me for this post. I hope it helped you if you needed to read it and until next time hammer-on and jam along!

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4 things to expect when writing in a new language

          Since I started writing back in 2016 my main language has been Bulgarian. I had no confidence in my English to start writing stories and to be honest I still don't. I probably wasn't going to try it in the near future but a short talk with a really dear stream to me changed my mind. Or at least got me curious enough to start and see where it goes.

          I've been writing in English for a few weeks now and here is a list of some things that I experienced while still adapting. Also, some tips that helped me to go through it.

          1. You will have doubt.

        You will doubt your choice. After all this is a change. Just a different language right? What's the worry for? It ain't that easy. You've developed connections in the language you have been writing until now. A person close to you might be reading your drafts, they might not know the other language and you don't want to let them down. You're just getting yourself anxious at this point.

• You need to take a deep breath and realize that all this is not real. Another person will start reading your drafts, you are not letting anyone down. People will find something to read. You're just afraid to make a change because you already have something going, some kind of an established safe space. You fear that if you step out of this place you won't be able to create a new one. That's not true.
• Ask people if they want to read something from you in this different language. And if they say yes you should have a short story or prologue or whatever ready. You can ask on the internet for strangers to check out your work, it's not as hard to get people around you as you might think it is.

          2. It will feel weird.

        Obviously, I know English well enough to talk with people but story-telling is something else. When you've been writing in another language you've developed a voice with that other language. And suddenly needing to change phrases to have a meaning in another language doesn't feel as right. It will not sound like you. You will feel like someone else is controlling your hands and it's not you the person pressing down the keys. And this feeling won't go away for just a week.

• What I can advise you is to just get to know this new voice, this new person that you become when you change the language of your keyboard. Just be ready for a long process of adaptation. Most of all don't think about it too much. You will eventually get used to it. This is said from a person who has been writing in English for about two to three weeks.

          3. You will feel lost.

        When I made that change I had a few scenes in mind for the story. I didn't have the starting scene so this one sort of happened on its own. The best example I can give is that you're just being introduced to the writing world and all you want to do is write. I had moments when I didn't know what to write but pushing through was easy.

Just keep going. Push that bit a little harder. It's not that hard to write in the early stages.

          4. It won't be good.

        As much as you will want it to be good it just won't feel right. You will be using a lot of repetitive phrases, words, and all that. You will want to rewrite it later on the second read. Change some words and all of that. And punctuation will be a nightmare if you don't find a handy cheat sheet.

• For words use the translator and Word-up. It's an app that shows you words and articles with them. That is if you transition to English. Word-Up helps with English only.
• For phrases just read whatever from natives. Always look up what the phrases mean and/or ask to be sure. You will get far and eventually you will become fluent in writing this new language as you are in your mother tongue.

          Starting a story is like putting a new upgrade to your writer profile. You might want to start with short stories to explore this new tab of your hobby. Or a story that unfolds like a collection of short stories. This is how I would describe Tails of broken kids.

          Before I forget. You can now follow how I progress in my wips in the "Writing progress" page I created. You can see how many chapters are written and how many words a chapter is plus the status of the books. Both of the ones I'm updating are in drafting process for now.

          That's it from me for this article. Till next time hammer-on and jam along.

          

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